It's not as if I don't have a grasp of the gravity of words, it's just that I have this problem whereby words bumble around in my brain looking for an escape route of which unfortunately there is only one. Words go from being well contained secrets to atomic bomb style clangers and I don't mean the little cute mouse things that whistle.
I suppose it's why goths love me -- all that tortured soul unable to express ones true feelings stuff -- and why I'm hopeless in job interviews.
It's so bad that my body has developed natural self defence mechanisms designed to prevent me from making said literary blunders ever again. I'll be talking to somebody; it could be anyone like a window cleaner or the next door neighbour and suddenly I'll just completely lose my train of thought and won't even remember why I'm talking or what is that I'm talking about and I'll become overwhelmed with the idea that I am just saying all that stuff for the sake of it and it's not really what I care about at all and then I think about all the people talking to each other all over the world and wonder if any of them are actually saying what they really want to say or whether it's all just meaningless words to stop us from realising that ultimately we are all completely alone in a vast sea of emptiness like that xkcd cartoon http://xkcd.com/866/
--That wasn't actually the one I meant but the meaning wasn't entirely lost.
So then I'll get this distracted kind of look and the other person assumes that I don't like them, or that they have offended me in some way when in fact the awkwardness has arisen from my painstakingly weighing up the merits of using a particular word in particular sentence versus the employment of a convenient lie as a means to steer safely to less treacherous areas of conversation.
