Friday, 28 December 2012
Love should be abolished it ruins everything. Okay maybe not the true embodiment thereof. But the word itself. The reason? It's like the Sinatra song: "..then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid.." Never utter the L word; for cursed ye shall be. And certainly not to someone you have feelings about. It sounds stupid but trust me I learnt the hard way. In reality love between two human beings is the ability to accidentally switch credit cards and not notice until one of you has to pay for something. Realising your mistake you make a rushed call to the afflicted person to explain the dilemma mid train journey whilst being confronted by the ticket inspector. Whereupon you divulge pin numbers so that you're both equipped for future purchases. And most importantly the exchange is painless. You both laugh it off and carry on with your day merry and joyful. Yup, that's something special. Alternatively if you listen to Radio 4 panel shows, then the definition of love is: "Seven consecutive texts with no reply, but not eight -- that would be weird" This being a suggestion sent in by a listener after being asked for their opinion as to what indeed love is. I am inclined to agree with this although it's not a method I would choose but hey, I'm defeatist. I've definitely never been guilty of obsessive texting -- ahem --*must learn from my mistakes* *must learn from my mistakes* *must learn from my mistakes* *must learn from my mistakes* *must learn from my mistakes* *must learn from my mistakes* *must learn from my mistakes* *must learn from my mistakes* *must learn from my mistakes* *must learn from my mistakes* *must learn from my mistakes*
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
Irony: Those on the dole will inevitably be labelled as hypocrites for boycotting big business while still needing them to obtain food and essentials. Meanwhile the rich shall be deemed green and virtuous; they are the only ones who can afford solar panels and yurts.
Monday, 17 December 2012
Time for another mopy post. Happiness levels: 53%; approx 20% better than Sat. On Saturday my face was attacked by strange leak from the eyes for most of the day. Situation only slightly improved by the fabrication of punk Christmas cards using acrylic paint and a sponge. Depression levels: Up from last week at about 40%. The only thing that stops me staring into the abyss and falling into it is pizza and chocolate. Up and down up and down up and down. It's only taken me a year to finally get off my arse and get those business cards in the windows. I'm a lazy bugger. I have no one to blame but myself. Violin teaching. Okay I can do this. I don't know why it's taken me so long. Making the business cards was pretty easy, but for some reason I put it off and off, thinking it was beyond me. It isn't. What a wasted year. I've achieved nothing. I can't get angry with myself. It won't help the situation. Okay hello world. Here I come.
Wednesday, 5 December 2012
Why I (most likely) won't have kids Obviously never say never, and no, I am not a baby hater. I think they are cute and respect must go out to parents who somehow manage not to make a hash of growing their dribbling lumps of puke and poop into well rounded and decent people. It doesn't appeal though. For one thing, I prefer cats. Cats stay cute forever and are less likely to wail if you don't buy them an Iphone. And for another: http://sturdyblog.wordpress.com/2012/12/03/baby-fever/#comments I'm no scientist but I'm pretty sure that the planet Earth already has a sufficient number of human beings. Out of that number I'd deduce that only a tiny percentage of those people are well-fed/happy/satisfied and only a marginally larger number are above the breadline/housed/not manically depressed. The thought of getting pregnant terrifies me. Luckily the way things are going the only way that'll ever be danger is if I somehow run into a guy called Joseph with a donkey and the midwife declares it as immaculate conception. It is terrifying though. Even the most 'in it for the kids', prepared to tie the knot of couples don't tend to last the Winter, and rarely have I witnessed a marriage that didn't involve the most hateful point scoring and competitiveness between two people. Not what I would use to define a loving relationship. One of my pet hates is couples who use their child to 'fix' their relationship. The way I see it, if your relationship is neither emotionally nor financially stable then don't even bother. The child will be a wreck from having to do United Nations-scale peace treaties between the feuding parties. Not to mention scathing relatives who will look for someone to blame when it all goes tits up. Children need stability. End of story. And no amount sticking plaster trips to the toy store and wool-over-the-eyes rounds at the penny arcade will change that.